


half agony, half hope

by dancingpineapples



Category: SPY x FAMILY (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Regency, F/M, Light Angst, Persuasion but Twiyor, Regency Romance, Second Chances, and i am in love with lady yor briar, i literally thought of this before bridgerton was even a thing, jane austen inspired, okay but captain loid forger sounds SO hot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:53:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28966395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingpineapples/pseuds/dancingpineapples
Summary: eight years ago, yor briar had been persuaded to turn down the man she loved. when she sees him again, she can’t believe he’s the same man, when the softness in his eyes had been replaced with a cold, calculated stare and there’s an iron curtain between them that had never been there before. she’s not holding her breath for a fairy tale reconciliation.
Relationships: Anya Forger & Loid Forger | Twilight, Loid Forger | Twilight/Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess
Comments: 20
Kudos: 55





	half agony, half hope

**Author's Note:**

> basically persuasion by jane austen but twiyor and by me bc every fandom needs a regency au am i right?? title comes from captain wentworth's letter where he writes 'you piece my soul i am half agony, half hope' and i swoon EVERY time i read that. 🥰 this is also another taylor swift sponsored fic and the songs i listened to on repeat for this were: champagne problems, long story short, lover, paper rings, and death by a thousand cuts 🥰 ty for reading the rambling and hope u enjoy my attempt at the regency au

“Yor Briar, that would be another suitor you’ve turned down!”

The woman in question turned around to find her closest friend charging at her. “Camilla! I was unaware you planned to visit today, I would have had Mrs. Russell prepare something.”

“I had to find out through Dominic that you rejected Lord Green’s proposal. Might I inquire as to why?” 

Yor grimaced. Of course she had heard about that. Soon enough, the entire countryside would know that she, Yor Briar, the dull spinster of the Briar estate, had turned down her last probable chance at marriage. She couldn’t even explain it to herself. Lord Green was many things any woman would desire in the husband- he was wealthy, kind, of equal status. It was almost a perfect match, which was why Yuri, her dearest younger brother, and now Camilla were justified in scolding her. “I...I do not have a particular reason, but-”

“Yor! You are nearing eight and twenty!” Camilla exclaimed, then paused. “Lord Briar could always speak to him on your behalf-”

“I would rather Yuri didn’t.” She forced a cheerful smile. “Please don’t worry about me, Camilla.”

The other woman sighed. “I have to worry about you because you otherwise will not. A woman of your station cannot remain unmarried.”

“Will you stay for tea?” Yor asked, attempting, fruitlessly, to change the subject. 

Camilla frowned, but nodded. “Yes, but I would like to hear from you what exactly occurred at the Desmond ball.”

Several cups of tea and many biscuits later, Yor hoped she had managed to somewhat convey why she had turned down Lord Green’s proposal. At the end of the day, she just couldn’t promise herself to him. However, Camilla’s arguments were also persuasive. Maybe she was right and Yor should have Yuri speak to him, writing off her initial refusal as bashfulness. She was not getting any younger, and any charm or beauty she might have had in her youth long faded away. 

As much as she tried to ignore them, she saw the stares and heard the whispers from the townspeople. She was already considered an oddity, as she had managed the Briar family estate single handedly, to the best of her ability, since after her parents had passed away in an accident when she was sixteen. She and Yuri had no other family to depend on, and it was really through her pure will and refusal to let the Briar estate and name fall to the wayside that Yor was able to raise Yuri into the fine young lord he was, both an Oxford graduate and diplomat. She was lucky that Yuri has been so easy to raise. If he had been difficult, she wasn’t sure how she could have managed. She saw other gentlemen his age, and Yuri, even at his worst, was nothing like them.

The proposals started coming in when she officially entered society at seventeen, and very few suitors (read: none) caught her eye. Yor didn’t think she had exorbitantly high standards. All she wanted was a partner who would treat her like his equal and listen to and appreciate her. Camilla had called those high standards, but at the same time, she was engaged to Dominic, who was more than happy to worship the ground beneath her feet, by the end of her first season. That wasn’t necessarily what Yor desired, but at the least, she wanted to be with someone who gave her butterflies and made her heart sing. 

She didn’t meet him until she was nineteen. 

It was at Camilla and Dominic’s engagement ball. Camilla’s family was wealthy, and they liked to remind the townspeople of that. Yor was hiding in a corner of the room, as usual. She was never one to be in the center of attention, and bloodthirsty mothers, seeking an advantageous match for their sons, always sought her out, while pretending to play the part of a concerned maternal figure to her. It was tiring and she would much rather be at home, reading or having tea with Yuri. She smiled subconsciously at the thought of her doting younger brother, and that was what caught the eye of one Lieutenant Loid Forger from across the room. 

“Who’s that?” he asked his companion. 

His friend looked over to where Loid was gesturing. “Her? Hm, I think she’s friends with the couple. Lady something? Bryant? Briarwood?”

The two were part of the Royal Navy and had been temporarily stationed in this town for the last few months. They weren’t quite sure how they had garnered an invitation, but assumed correctly it was for appearances. Neither of them were going to complain- how many balls, after all, could a poor sailor anticipate being invited to in his lifetime? 

“Lady Briar!” Frankie suddenly exclaimed. “That’s her name.”

“She’s rather pretty, wouldn’t you say?” 

Frankie recognized that look almost immediately. Loid was one to set his sight on something and then achieve it. It worked, considering he had risen through the ranks rapidly with a single mindedness that was almost terrifying. “Forger-” He realized the brash young lieutenant had already disappeared from his side and shrugged.

Loid crossed through the crowds, politely shrugging off other young ladies, only one currently on his mind. He made his way, to find the corner empty. He looked around, only to be startled. 

“Can I help you, sir?”

His gaze settled on her, and Yor had never felt so exposed before. “Yes, no, sorry, I mean,” he grasped at his words, “Would you do me the honor of the next dance?”

She considered the gentleman in front of her. He was clearly from the naval regiment posted to their town, and he couldn’t be more than a year or two older than her. He came off as eager, but it was… charming. There was something unguarded about him, and she found herself nodding. 

He held out his hand, and she took it, letting him lead her to the dancing, where she could feel the glances, but for once, she didn’t mind being at the center of attention, not when she could only focus on the prettiest set of blue eyes she had ever seen. 

From that night on, Lieutenant Forger was a frequent caller at the Briar household. They fell in love over the course of the summer, over long walks and conversations and notes. There were stolen kisses and whispered secrets and childish dreams. He told her about his desire for peace and to defend their country, and she told him about her wish to belong somewhere. Looking back, she should have guarded her heart better, or rather, to begin with. She disregarded the warnings of her friends, when perhaps she should have listened more closely. When he proposed in the fall, she accepted, and although she was just shy of twenty, her world felt complete.

Then came the lectures. First from Camilla herself, then Camilla’s father. They reminded her of many things she had overlooked; that he was poor, he was a sailor, had no title, and nothing to recommend him. Next came the lecture concerning his profession. There was an impending war, the odds of him coming back to her being slim to none, and she was more likely to become a widow than a mother in their first year of marriage. What kind of normalcy could she expect from a naval officer? 

Doubts were rapidly forming in her head, yet the final nail in the coffin was delivered by Yuri. 

“Please don’t marry him, sister,” he pleaded. At twelve, he was, perhaps, a little too attached to her, more so than any other boy his age would be, but there were, of course, the extenuating circumstances.

“Yuri…” Her heart was torn, after all, Yuri is her family, and Loid was only the promise of a future family. She couldn’t forsake the only blood she had left, could she? She didn’t remember what she told Yuri that night, but it was enough to allay his concerns. 

The next day was a blur in her memory, even now. She made her way to the lodgings of the naval officers and asked one she vaguely remembered as Loid’s friend if Lieutenant Forger was available. He came out, a touch out of breath and concerned. He only grew more concerned upon seeing her tear streaked cheeks.

“Yor, what’s the matter?”

She took a deep breath. “Lieutenant Forger, I am deeply sorry, but I cannot marry you,” her voice cracked, as she attempted to keep her composure. 

There was only confusion on his face and she could see the questions going through his head. “Why?” he finally asked.

“It’s not an appropriate match, and-” Her hands shake as she forces the ring he had given her back into his hands. “-I don’t love you. I apologize if I gave you the impression otherwise.” It’s cruel, too cruel, but those words were for her sake, if anything. 

She thought that if she had managed to bear the pain of losing her parents, this heartbreak would be manageable, but how wrong she had been. It seemed like since that day, she was in mourning for the what-could-have-been and the long lost younger, happier, sweeter Yor. 

Now, as she walked through town, she once again pretended to not see the stares of the curious townspeople. She almost wished she had just stayed on their estate grounds, when she felt something crash into her skirts. She looked down to find a small girl, not more than four or five, clinging to her. 

Yor wasn’t sure what to do or whose child this was. She looked around, hoping someone would claim the child and soon, when she heard a very familiar voice, albeit from a very different context. 

“Anya! Don’t run off like that.”

As improper as it was, her mouth fell open. She was ill prepared to be suddenly confronted with a memory she had once left behind. 

He was the first to react, unsurprisingly, and the shock on his (still handsome) face quickly disappeared (faster than hers at least). “Lady Briar-”

“Oh, Loid! There you and Anya are.” Both Loid and Yor turned to see Sylvia Weston strolling up from behind. Yor did not know her well, aside from the fact she was a widow and she now managed her husband’s estate on her own. And Yor never knew that Mrs. Weston knew Loid. 

“Lady Briar! How lovely to see you. You were terribly missed at the assembly last week.”

“I was feeling unwell,” Yor stammered, not wanting to admit her reticence. “How do you do, Mrs. Weston?”

“I’m happy to see you back on your feet then.” From anyone else, Yor might have construed it as a subtle dig, but from her, it seemed almost genuine. “I see you’ve met Anya and Captain Forger.”

“We’re previously acquainted, Sylvia,” Loid replied, while looking anywhere but at her. There was a formality in his tone she was unaccustomed to. 

Yor’s eyes widened at the familiarity between  _ them _ and the gears turned in her head rapidly. 

“Captain Forger served under my husband in the Navy. He’s much like my younger brother.”

“How lovely.” Yor prayed for the conversation to wrap up soon so she could go back home and scream into her pillow. 

Mrs. Weston continued on, in a manner that could have been construed as mindless, if not for the knowing glance she gave Loid. “You must come over for tea sometime then. I was unaware Loid had any acquaintances still, from when he was here eight years ago.” 

Loid looked almost… disgusted, and Yor steadied her facial expression to prevent the hurt from showing on her face. She wasn’t confident in how successful she was. “That sounds delightful, but I’m rather busy this time of year.”

“Ah, I see. Hm, perhaps I’ll send a note one afternoon then.”

“Please do. It was a pleasure to see you both again.” Yor bowed her head slightly, before remembering the young girl, still clinging to her skirts. 

“Anya, let go of Lady Briar,” Loid scolded, as he crouched down to her level. 

“Pa is being mean,” she sniveled.

“Miss Anya, you must do the work your tutor sets out for you,” Mrs. Weston said gently. She looked up at Yor. “I’m sorry, Lady Briar. Captain Forger only recently became a father, and he still has a lot to learn.”

Anya looked up at her, her green eyes glimmering with unshed tears. She must take after her mother, Yor decided. She didn’t appear to take after Loid in any way.

“What do we say?” Loid asked. 

Anya doesn’t say anything, but let go of her skirts and then clung to her father’s leg. 

“She’s rather shy,” Mrs. Weston explained, an indulgent smile on her lips. On the contrary, Loid looked like he was already at his wits end. 

It was a novel sight, and for that, Yor gave the girl a gentle smile. “It’s no bother. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Anya.” 

Loid picked up Anya, an exasperated but fond expression on his face, and Mrs. Weston waved. “Well, we shall take our leave then, Lady Briar. Have a lovely rest of your day.” Yor waited for the three of them to turn the corner before letting out the breath she wasn’t aware she had been holding in. She made her way home, attempting to somehow process what had just happened. It should come to no surprise to her. Just because her life was on hold did not mean everyone else’s was. 

She pretended she hadn’t noticed his cold politeness, when the Loid Forger she had known once had been so warm and kind, without a veneer of faux social niceties. This was almost a state worse than being strangers. 

The next time she saw him was at a dinner party at Camilla and Dominic’s home. It was a small neighborhood gathering. There were the regular guests Sharon, her husband, Millie, the Desmonds, and Mrs. Weston, and now Captain Forger, as a guest of Mrs. Weston. Camilla had her over for tea almost immediately after she had encountered him in town and shared what she had learned from Dominic. Apparently, Loid Forger became a war hero, earned his five and twenty thousand pounds, and was now essentially a highly sought after bachelor, despite already having a child. It stung to hear how the tables had turned and not in her favor. 

Dinner was undeniably awkward. He refused, it seemed, to look her way, and she was unable to even glance in his direction without wanting to shrink into her seat and disappear. Yor could only watch on as he chatted easily with everyone else, including the single and charming and lovely Millie, who was more than receptive to his attentions. He was just as gallant and captivating as she remembered, and she wondered how she must compare.

After dinner, Camilla begged her to play the pianoforte, despite Yor protesting gently, citing her lack of skill, which was quickly shot down with a “Oh, Yor, you play well enough.” 

Finding herself without any other excuses, Yor quickly melted in the background as she played. She wasn’t terrible, but one would never call her talented. It was, therefore, perfect background music for a lively dinner party. 

She supposed that was how she ended up in her next predicament. Captain Forger and Mrs. Weston had ended up, deep in conversation, right next to her at the pianoforte, and she didn’t think they were aware she could overhear bits and pieces of their discussion easily. 

“Oh, Loid, you were acquainted with Lady Briar, if I recall correctly?” she hears Mrs. Weston ask. Yor forced herself to not look up at the mention of her title, focusing instead on the next keystrokes. 

“Yes, from when I stationed here last.” He didn’t elaborate as to the nature of their relationship, but why would he? She thought. 

“Is she as you remember?”

He took his time. She could feel someone’s (his) eyes on her, and she pretended to be none the wiser. “I hardly recognized her, for she has changed so much.”

That was not exactly the answer she hoped for, but was to be expected. It still hurt to be reminded of one’s fleeting beauty. The Yor Briar he had once known was no longer, or so he thought. There was only so much feebleness and lack of character a man could be expected to put up with. She had been so easily persuaded to end their engagement, and now, she must reap what she had sown. 

When the dinner party drew to a close, Dominic helped her into her carriage, and wished her a good evening. She thanked him for a pleasant evening, then settled into her seat, ready to climb into her bed immediately. As Yor looked through the window, her eyes accidentally met his. His familiar gaze, once gentle and full of regard for her, now reminded her of winter frost. It hit her, as she prepared for bed, that as much as she begrudged herself for changing in his eyes, he would never know how little he had altered in hers. She thinks that even if they were different people in different circumstances, she would still know it was him immediately. 

Several days later, Yor chose to walk through the estate grounds. She had learned her lesson about walking in town. She was deep in contemplation, about a certain member of the Royal Navy, to her chagrin, when she spotted a somewhat familiar head of pink hair sticking out from a bush.

“Miss Anya, is that you?”

The girl looked up, eyes lighting up faintly in recognition.

“I’m Lady Briar, a… friend of your father’s. What are you doing out here?”

She didn't reply, but stared at her almost vacantly. It reminded her of how Yuri would stare at the walls, right after their parents had passed. Without a second thought, Yor reached out for her and was surprised when Anya climbed into her arms almost immediately. Yor picked her up and decided her next course of action was to return home. The girl felt unnaturally warm and was dressed rather inappropriately for the weather they were having. 

When she reached home, she called for the housekeeper, Mrs. Russell, and asked her to write a note to both the town doctor and Mrs. Weston. Anya was now burning up and barely able to keep her eyes open, and Yor, always erring on the side of safety, would rather have the doctor see her when Anya was under her temporary care. As Mrs. Russell bustled away, Yor carried Anya to the drawing room and settled on the couch, with the young girl on her lap.

She absentmindedly stroked Anya’s hair while she waited for the doctor. She wondered what had compelled Loid to adopt a daughter, one he had come across while at war. It wasn’t that she didn’t think he couldn’t be an excellent father, no, she was confident in his ability to adapt to whatever situation he was in and he had all the trappings of becoming an ideal father (after all, Yor had once dreamt of him being the father of her children).

The doctor came by and diagnosed Anya with a simple case of the chills, probably from being ill-dressed in the late fall weather. He suggested a damp cloth to her forehead and moving her to a proper bed, which Yor instructed Mrs. Russell to do. They were lucky, Yor thought, Anya was such a small girl. A note had been sent to Mrs. Weston, letting her know Anya was at the Briar estate. Yor decided to keep her company at her bedside, at least until her father came. Something about letting an ill child suffer by herself didn’t sit properly with her. 

Before she knew it, she dozed off and then awoke to yelling and thunderous footsteps. Alarmed, she stood up to find Loid burst into the room.

He looked around, almost panicked, until his gaze finally settled on Anya fast asleep in bed. “Yor-Lady Briar, I am so very sorry to have imposed on you in this manner. Truly, I am very grateful to you for taking care of Anya.” He bowed deeply, slightly out of breath, and her only thought was that maybe he hadn’t completely closed himself off from her.

“Of course, Captain Forger. I wouldn’t have just left her outside in a bush.” She steadied herself, as she struggled to recall if she had heard him properly and if he had used her name, or if that had just been her wishing for it.

He straightened up, and for the first time, they made eye contact that felt almost normal. “Of course not. I have a carriage outside, I’ll take my leave with Anya then-”

She interrupted him, before she lost her nerve. “It’s rather late, and Anya is sleeping peacefully now. Won’t you stay for dinner and then go?” 

Her boldness shocked both of them, and she prepared herself to backtrack, until he started speaking. “That… that sounds lovely. I would be honored to join you.”

“I’ll let Mrs. Russell know then,” and with that and her heart pounding, she scurried out, skirts in hand. Just as she reached the kitchen, she heard another very familiar voice in her life in the front entrance.

“Yor!” 

“Mrs. Russell, did Yuri say he was returning today?” Yor asked. His last letter hadn’t mentioned returning anytime soon from his diplomatic trip abroad.

“No, ma’am, he must be early.” 

“Lovely.” Yor said a quick prayer in her head, that maybe everything would be fine. “Well, Captain Forger will also be joining us for dinner.”

“Of course, Lady Briar. Anything else?”

“No, but thank you though.”

This dinner is another awkward affair. Except this time, she had to play the part of benevolent hostess. Yuri was openly disgruntled to share his precious sister time with another man, and Loid’s patience was wearing thin, as he fended off Yuri’s very pointed remarks about the navy.

Before long, Yuri and Loid were both clearly irritated, but had kept fake smiles plastered on for her sake. Grown men really were more akin to children, she thought. 

After dinner, she saw Loid and Anya out, the latter still fast asleep, as Loid gently placed her in the carriage. He was about to climb in himself, when Yor found her voice again. “Captain Forger, I wanted to apologize for Yuri. He didn’t mean anything of what he said.”

He turned and gave her a smile that took her back eight years. It was as warm as the summer sun and it almost immediately dissolves the wall between them. “No need to apologize, Lady Briar.” He bowed his head slightly. “Have a good night. Thank you again for taking care of Anya and for dinner.”

And, this was her chance. “Wait, please,” she bit her lip, unsure how to proceed. “I...I also wanted to apologize for my own actions. For how I treated you eight years ago. I was so cruel to you, and you did not deserve that.”

That gave him pause, before he stepped towards her. She couldn’t quite make out the look in his eyes, and she was sure hers’ reflected how terrified she was of his response. “I forgave you a long time ago, Yor.” With that, he was gone and she was alone, once again.

It was three days later when she received a note from her housekeeper that Captain Forger would be dropping by in the afternoon. For what reason was unknown, and that was reason enough for her growing nerves. Yuri had already left for Berlin the night before, on official government business again, so at least, she wouldn’t have to worry about him as well.

Mrs. Russell led him into the drawing room when he arrived, where Yor was already seated with tea and biscuits. He thanked her and then sat in the armchair opposite from Yor. She offered him a cup of tea, which he accepted, and they started by exchanging the necessary pleasantries. 

They fell into a comfortable silence afterwards. It reminded her that they had never felt forced to fill any silences between them, and she’s glad that some things have remained unchanged. She sipped at her tea, wondering when he would bring up the reason why he was calling on her, all of a sudden. 

As if reading her mind, he got up and started pacing. “I’ll be leaving for my next contract soon. In the next few months it seems.”

“Oh? Is that so?” she kept her tone light, but she felt her entire world crashing down around her for the umpteenth time in her life. “Is Anya looking forward to it?”

“I haven’t told her yet. There was something I wanted to discuss with you first.” He was always so straightforward. 

Her heart is beating so fast, like it was about to give out. Yor tried her best to muster a smile, but the nerves are evident on her face.

Loid approached her, then took the seat next to her on the couch. He was sitting a little too close for it to be considered completely appropriate, but proprietary be damned. He took her hands and pulled gently, forcing her to look at him. It was as though with a single glance he could strip away all her walls and leave her completely vulnerable. He had always had a good read on her, and she hoped he saw the hope in her eyes.

“Yor,” he cleared his throat. “Once you told me you never wanted to see me again. I left in a world of pain, and I truly did not think I would ever forgive you. Yet, here I sit, eight years later, my heart even more your own.” He chuckled sadly, and she could feel the air leave her lungs. 

“Loid, I-” 

He cut her off and continued. “Since my return, I suppose I have been rude, unjust, but believe me when I say never inconstant. My feelings for you never wavered, and I hoped for a sign, any sign that you might return my feelings.” Loid paused, staring at her as if to gauge her reaction, and Yor wasn’t sure what he saw but it must have compelled him to continue. “If you will have me still…” He trailed off, and his eyes looked just as they did the first time he had proposed. There was the softness she had fallen in love with, that she was still in love with, and she saw all the hope and love in her own gaze matched in his ounce for ounce. She couldn’t believe that at one point she had been convinced to let him go. 

This time, she would refuse to let herself be persuaded. Tears spilled from her eyes as she nodded.

He brought her knuckles to his lips, and it was absolutely inappropriate even if he was now technically her betrothed. She couldn’t control the blush that erupted across her face, and her heart felt like it could burst out of her chest (funny how he could always elicit that feeling from her). 

Mrs. Russell came in, after not hearing anything, and looked appropriately scandalized. 

The two broke apart, almost immediately, and Loid got up. “Lady Briar, I should take my leave now.” 

She nodded. 

“Shall I walk you out, Captain Forger?” Mrs. Russell asked.

“That would be very kind of you,” he replied. When he reached the doorway, he turned around and Yor looked at him, questioning what else there could be left to say. “I hope to speak with Lord Briar soon. Please do inform me when he returns.”

Mrs. Russell looked confused, before considering what he meant. Her eyes widened in realization and Yor could hardly look at the older woman, who now had potentially dozens of questions. There was a promise in the air, of interrogating her, to find out what had transpired in the last half an hour. 

The next time she saw him, he came calling as her fiance officially. He had Anya in tow, who looked at her in a different light, and Yor wondered what exactly Loid had told her. Yuri, despite his personal dislike of Loid, couldn’t find a convincing reason to oppose their engagement. After all, Loid was no longer a nobody, no longer unqualified to call upon Yor. He had a small fortune behind him and a title earned through genuine merit and activity. For these reasons, Yuri simply scowled in his corner of the drawing room while Yor and Loid conversed.

It was a funny feeling, to be chaperoned at her age. It made her feel young again. Loid had been telling her some of his many stories from being out at sea, when he changed the topic, after seeing Yuri had dozed off. 

“Lady Briar,” he dropped his voice, not wanting to wake her younger brother. “If I had come back, three years later, after my first promotion, and asked again, would you have…” He didn't finish his question, but she knew what he was asking. 

“I would have.”

He smiled ruefully, “If only my pride hadn’t gotten in the way, then, perhaps, we wouldn’t have waited so many years.”

“I would venture to say the wait was worth this.”

They shared a secret smile, and Anya, sitting between them, tugged at her sleeve, wanting to be let in on the joke. 

Much later, after Anya and Loid took their leave, and as she was getting ready for bed, she glanced in the mirror, pleasantly surprised by how bright her eyes shined.

**Author's Note:**

> ahh i think this is like actually the longest fic i've written so far and i rlly enjoyed every minute of it!! anyways tysm for reading, commenting, and giving kudos!! like for every fic i write like i get so emo over the comments sometimes bc im a soft girl 🥺 y'all are too kind and i love writing for all y'all


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